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So I'm outside on the front porch right now just sitting here chillin' with my guard puppy. I just took her out from her evening bathroom break and I decided to stop and enjoy the night air. While sitting here I was struck by an overwhelming feeling of contentment. I know I talk about my family a lot and you are all probably sick of hearing about them. If so I'm sorry to hear that, as I suspect I will always talk about them a lot because they all just amaze me so.
As I was saying I was sitting here on the porch and I finally realized I was home. I'm sure I'll have lots of moments like this over my lifetime and each one will be special. Tonight's was all about sitting here on the porch with my little guard puppy at my side and beginning to doze off quite happily. I feel safe here at my home. I feel I can fall asleep on the porch and everything will be okay. I will wake up and things will be alright. I know that if something goes wrong there is a house-load of people behind me waiting to back me up. I can look out from my porch and everything I can see is ours. I'm sure that everyone feels this way about their house and home but it doesn't make it any less special for me.
I mean yes, there are bad times. We get in fights. Some of them quite loud and some of them quite ugly. We get on each other nerves. We want to strangle one another. But more often then any of that we spend the nights laughing like loons over something inconsequential. I cannot count the number of nights when this house has been filled to the brim with wicked loud laughter. Or the number of times I have smiled while out and about remembering some silly joke we have running. Or the times I've raced home so I could tell someone about my day or share that funny story or just in order to get home quicker.
I spent a large portion of my life moving. From the moment I was born until 8 years old I had at least 7 different addresses. Age 9 was spent in Arizona. Years 10 through 13 were spent off in Michigan and Cally going back and forth between warring parents. Then it was off to Cape Cod, MA until 16. Then back and forth between New Mexico and Massachusetts for a few years. Then to Omaha, NE. Then finally to NY where I moved around into a few different houses. Then finally to here.
This place was never supposed to be my home. It was a stop over point on my wander through life but it has become one. Every time I wake up and hear my screaming children or loud ass housemates it becomes more of one. Every time the day starts to Kae waking me up to some yummy breakfast I'm a little happier inside. Seeing Charlie grow up is amazing. Being crawled on by the Besterkids painful and spectacular. Going to all their little school things well all sorts of cool.
I expect we will have our share of problems. We are not a normal family and it is going to be difficult to figure out where we are going at times. There will be fights and tears and anger and maybe even some will leave and others will come home. I will eventually marry and he/she/they will be added into our household changing it even more. There will be new children and grandchildren. New friends and old visiting. Pets living and dying and taking over the household at times. But through it all I think our household will stand. It is different, complex and oh so beautiful. Sometimes things don't happen the way you think they will. Sometimes the places you stop for a day or a month or a year are the places you end up staying. Sometimes on nights like these, cold and dark with the chill of fall in the air, it is good to just sit out on your porch with your guard puppy watching the stars dance and dreaming the dreams you never thought you'd be able to have.
As I was saying I was sitting here on the porch and I finally realized I was home. I'm sure I'll have lots of moments like this over my lifetime and each one will be special. Tonight's was all about sitting here on the porch with my little guard puppy at my side and beginning to doze off quite happily. I feel safe here at my home. I feel I can fall asleep on the porch and everything will be okay. I will wake up and things will be alright. I know that if something goes wrong there is a house-load of people behind me waiting to back me up. I can look out from my porch and everything I can see is ours. I'm sure that everyone feels this way about their house and home but it doesn't make it any less special for me.
I mean yes, there are bad times. We get in fights. Some of them quite loud and some of them quite ugly. We get on each other nerves. We want to strangle one another. But more often then any of that we spend the nights laughing like loons over something inconsequential. I cannot count the number of nights when this house has been filled to the brim with wicked loud laughter. Or the number of times I have smiled while out and about remembering some silly joke we have running. Or the times I've raced home so I could tell someone about my day or share that funny story or just in order to get home quicker.
I spent a large portion of my life moving. From the moment I was born until 8 years old I had at least 7 different addresses. Age 9 was spent in Arizona. Years 10 through 13 were spent off in Michigan and Cally going back and forth between warring parents. Then it was off to Cape Cod, MA until 16. Then back and forth between New Mexico and Massachusetts for a few years. Then to Omaha, NE. Then finally to NY where I moved around into a few different houses. Then finally to here.
This place was never supposed to be my home. It was a stop over point on my wander through life but it has become one. Every time I wake up and hear my screaming children or loud ass housemates it becomes more of one. Every time the day starts to Kae waking me up to some yummy breakfast I'm a little happier inside. Seeing Charlie grow up is amazing. Being crawled on by the Besterkids painful and spectacular. Going to all their little school things well all sorts of cool.
I expect we will have our share of problems. We are not a normal family and it is going to be difficult to figure out where we are going at times. There will be fights and tears and anger and maybe even some will leave and others will come home. I will eventually marry and he/she/they will be added into our household changing it even more. There will be new children and grandchildren. New friends and old visiting. Pets living and dying and taking over the household at times. But through it all I think our household will stand. It is different, complex and oh so beautiful. Sometimes things don't happen the way you think they will. Sometimes the places you stop for a day or a month or a year are the places you end up staying. Sometimes on nights like these, cold and dark with the chill of fall in the air, it is good to just sit out on your porch with your guard puppy watching the stars dance and dreaming the dreams you never thought you'd be able to have.
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"No problem, folks! I got the tail thing covered! I'm not letting the ferocious tail out of my sight! Oh -- I fell down."
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