Let the wrong begin

I got an urge to clean my room up last night. I had been letting it slide for a good long while. Didn't really put much thought into it, just got up and started cleaning. I think I have one more load of laundry and I'm all done with that. I'm not sure if I'm going to take apart all the boxes in my room and sort through things. It isn't like I have some where magical and new to start storing my junk. Eventually, when the addition is completed, I will have somewhere to store my things so I don't want to just get rid of it all.

I went shopping today and spent too much money but I was feeling out of sorts and I had to get some errands done anyhow. My room now has a really pretty dark blue carpet now which makes things look much nicer. I bought some dishes because they were on sale and I have a bit of a love for weird shaped and colored dishes. Not sure what I'm going to do with them but there you go. I also bought three new My Little Ponies to make myself feel better. I'm not sure how that equates other then my mom used to buy me ponies after I had to go to the doctor or something so irr there you go.

I also went over and switched gyms today. My new one is on the way to and from college and open 24/7 Monday-Friday. I'll probably make up a gym bag and go on my way home from college. I'm thinking I might run out later tonight as well just to look around the place. They have free tanning and massage chairs. I'm not one for tanning but massage chairs sound nice. It'll will be good to get back to the gym. It was something else I let slide. Not that I had been doing spectacular about going before but I was doing okay. Oh and I went and visited the used book store in Walden. They are okay and I bought a few new books. I miss the one from upstate which was so insanely nice.

*sigh* So I'm gonna go back to room cleaning. This weekend has been fairly mild. I had Jesse and Sean over for Thursday and Friday nights for Lantern Festival. A good time was had by all. Then on Saturday I went to Non-Con with Jesse for a little while. Oddly I didn't see anyone there I knew. I tried on a corset which has made me determined to buy one now. It was really comfortable and I love the feeling of being tightly bound. Unfortunately, this malaise has been on me since Saturday morning so I didn't do much at Non-Con though I'm fairly certain I managed to worry Jesse with my unusual quietness. I'm sure it will fade as usual though today I have had the most particular sense of chest constriction at various points during the day. Rather like someone has been sitting on my chest. Makes breathing a little difficult but nothing I can't deal with. Maybe I just need more MLPs. Yeah that's it, more ponies...

I am amazingly tired right now. I still need to go shower and pack for my trip to see my mother tomorrow. I'm half way looking forward to it. Don't get me wrong, I love seeing my mother and step-father but I get really bored out there and I miss my family and friends. I'm seldom away from them for longer then when I visit my mom and it bugs me. I'm sure I'll end up calling home everyday like a moron to check in. Plus there is the whole flying thing which I'm really bored with doing. I've done it so much in my life that I'm basically sick to death of doing it. The seating sucks, touching strangers sucks, the waiting and security suck, only looking out the window is fun and that has gotten old. SO I'll try and sleep my way through the flight again.

I made an amazingly kick ass birthday cake for my college friend Matt today. It looked so freaking good and tasted good too, rather like girl scout thin mints. He liked it a lot and then I stuck around and chatted with him and Sean for a long while. I should have come home sooner but I don't seem them all that often and I miss hanging out with them. I'm so stupid busy from mid-December to mid-February that I don't see many folks. My shoulders are tied up in huge knots which are killing me. Blegh I so need to beg a shoulder rub off of someone soon before I die.

Time seems to have gone really wonky since the beginning of this year. It feels like the year should be half way over instead of barely begun. So much has happened and changed that it is hard keeping up with it. I'm sad about some things, I miss other things, and I'm rather pleased with like one or two things. All in all a freaking hectic start. It got worse at the beginning of Chinese New Year. LOL The rat is the beginning of the wheel and I believe it wants to start with all the things that have built up being sifted and shucked off. *sighs* I miss people. Oh boy I'm way tired. Too tired to be typing anymore before I open my big mouth anymore.

See you all Monday ^_^

Ever make your life harder then it needs to be? LOL Ever told your housemate about it and had her shake her at at you and sigh? Yeahhhhhhh..... *cackles*

So I had a fun night last night. Well other then my car tire dying a horrible death. I need to find out in the morning if I can get it fixed or if I have to buy a new tire. I spent the night over at Wyatt's at New Paltz because i was scared to drive home on the doughnut. I ended up having to do so anyway. oh well. We celebrated Jess's (not Jesse) 21st birthday. Couldn't find a bar because they were all carding BOOOOO so we had a party in the room. It was good but I am never watching Wyatt play Half-Life while drinking again. LOL I have no control over my squeaking and he tends to die alot. *laughs* Shanti made a cake and I got to help out. It was alot of fun. I'll get a picture from her or Wyatt and post it up for all to see. It is hard to cook and bake at the college.

Came home to an empty house and crashed from the tired. I don't think anyone else is awake right now. I heard Gryph out watching TV but then I heard him go to bed before I had dragged myself out of bed. A bit sad as I don't get to hang with Gryph as much as I'd like. Our schedules are drastically different. Actually now that I think about it they are going to be even more different now that I have a new semester. Blegh. Matt goes to work soon and I will be the only one home. How weird. It so seldom happens I never quite get used to the idea. I've grown very accustomed to my family being around and while I like the quiet at times I miss them when no one is home with me. Odd for a latchkey only child but I guess I used up my quiet time when I was younger. Actually it was really hard for me to adjust in the beginning. I like it now, though it gets to me at times still, but I had no idea what to do with myself in the beginning.

I've been spending alot of time thinking and contemplating my life lately. I tend to look internally frequently but more so when my life seems to be shifting drastically. Much of my time has been spent trying not to freak or lose it over things. Our little family has been together a year and a half now (well with me being involved anyhow). It has been a tough year and a half in some regards but gorgeous in others. No I'm not about to wax poetic about my family again. You all know I'm infatuated with them. The two year mark is coming up soonish. I don't think things of this sort have ever lasted for me past two years. Things went wrong and people went crazy and I don't know. I....I...hmm so many things to say. *blinks* I guess I have enough abandonment issues to choke a large yak. I doubt hey will ever fully go away. I can deal with them and I try not to ask for reassurances too often as that probably gets annoying but I still worry. The more I think about things the deeper I get inside my own head to the root of where all these issues come from. It isn't like they are exactly hidden but forest for the trees and all that. The same thoughts meander there way through my head all the time. I know the only thing that will really help is time and I have lots of that. I have the time to let things blossom and flow where they will. I will admit to wanting things quicker as I have almost no patience but I know that some things need time. As much as I worry I also don't. I have this horrible deep seated trust that things will go alright in my life. Maybe not moment to moment but overall things get better constantly. It is funny to look back at my life and the crap I've gone through and to admit to being fully sure that the gods take care of me and push me towards a good life. Ugh what a horrible sticky statement to admit to. You didn't hear me say that shhhhhhh!

So yeah worrier that I am I'm just gonna try and not do so. Things will go where they need to. I can try to go where I want but I have just found my life takes me where I need to go even if it isn't where I wanted to go. Maybe things won't work out how I want them to. Maybe I could make my life easier. Maybe I'll never be the king of all Londinium and wear a shiny hat but things will go where they need to and hopefully work out in a way that makes as many people happy as possible. I'll keep worrying and keep doing what I do and just try to enjoy the ride while I'm here.

I'm at school. I have an exam in Finacial Accounting later. I don't feel at all ready for it. I have one class before that. I'm thinking of taking my laptop to continue studying between classes but I have a feeling I'll need to break to calm down. I was so I tired I got a medium iced latte before my last class then a large one right after. Now I'm wired. Oh and double-sided accounting can just fucking well die. Oh and so can my teacher who explained it like crap hence I only just understood what the fuck she was talking about. Dumb twat.

*grumble*

Of course half of that was my fault for getting so sick I had to miss class.

Oh well I have a lit class next. I just got done reading Bryant for class. *sigh* I suppose I need to get up and go to class now. Had Microeconomics this morning and my teacher isn't a native english speaker. She is really hard to follow at times. Very annoying.

Class now. Stupid exam.

So I passed all my classes. Most better then I thought. So looks like I'm getting my AA degree this Saturday. My mom should be happy.

I realize I have not bothered you strange people yet today. Time to change that. So here's where I stand:

School: The twat is redeeming herself. She says if I get everything else in on time she'll let me retake the first exam come finals. I'm okay with this. I also managed to get an A on the second part. I'm mostly caught up with everything else. I owe PL some journals and homework to Astronomy and Concepts. I start another class (Weight Lifting) tonight. I'm about to head there now.

Work: Well the morons had extra people in here while I was gone. The petty cash check is missing. Connection? Yeah so less then please to have these retards in my office.

Home: Things are pretty good. Some things not so good. None of it is going online.

I spoke with my mom yesterday about random things. It was fun. Spent class time yesterday sending text messages back and forth with Will, Scott and the Baltimore Boys. LOL I get bored and send strange messages to people. Do you want a strange message? Give me your number and let me know you don't mind if I ping you. I get bored alot.

Hmm I still haven't done the memes. I'm a bad Seo. Oh well off to school I go.

Here's my happy new schedule as of 3/8/7 Some sundays are free. I'll have to schedule around there. This is mostly so people can find me if they need to. I'm ading another class in come March too but I don't know what kind of work it needs so I can't put it on here yet. Oh yeah only Astronomy, Work, and the Gym classes are one I actually have to go to class. The rest are online. Oh and the LJ happy format is thanks to Jeff. Thank you!

( Scedule )

Intro to Business: Done
Astronomy: HW TBD
Contemp Novel: Reading, respond to Discussion Boards, back DB
Preshistoric Life: Journals, Reading
Macroeconomics: Reading

So I'm doing alright. I'm finally at a point where it is almost comfortable to breath. I am some how ranking in the top ten (spot 8) for the stock trading game in my macroeconomics. Oh yeah I am so the cool. I finally broke down and emailed my Prehistoric Life teacher because I haven't been able to get any work in because he has confused me as to what the hell I'm supposed to be doing. Why can' t they just stick all the question in one nice easy to read section? Anyhow way behine there but not much I can do about it. I'm enjoying my Contemp Novel class. LOL It is nice being able to say as much as I want about a subject in a book without being cut off or having to wait for the other students to say stuff. LOL I'm so self-centered. I owe her a journal because I'm a moron and it is late. I spaced getting it done. Oh well. 

I need to check my school email box. This would be easy other then they have the password set to some stupid numbers I have to go look up. It should all be forwarding to my main email but never good to leave it alone. For all I know my teachers have been emailing there everyday going "Where the fuck are you???" and I'm over in gmail like "la la la oh no new school email good." *snorts* Knowning my luck that's what's been happening. 

So gonna get this journal done before I leave work then finish my paper work and go home. None of my co-workers showed up today. Think they went to a kegger yesterday. Oh well, none of my business.

Heads up until further notice I'm working 11 hour days at work. That isn't counting the time getting ready for, getting to, or getting from work so tack on another 3 plus hours. I'm going to be hard to get a hold of. You can page me or try me at work if it is an emergency. If you don't hear back from me after just giving me a call for a week or so don't feel bad I'm just a little out of sorts and busy. Drop me another line and I'll call you back. Raven I know I owe you a call sorry I'll try tomorrow. *snugs*

As to why, I'm covering for the mail room chickie as well as in finance right now. I don't know how long because right now I'm training to cover for her while she is on vacation and we don't know when she goes on vacation because it isn't until her daughter has the baby. Then she is gone for a week and I can go back to a more normal schedule.. Only two hours more but it is still a bit of a pain. Great money though.

*sighs* Still have to finish enrolling in classes. Fuck that's a conflict must remember to take that with me on monday. Hmmm babbling. Must go bake.