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I've decided the entire last week from Thursday to Thursday sucked and I refuse to believe in it anymore. As such I'm going to find me some vodka and drink until there is only blackness.
I spent the latter part of today with Jesse cooking and baking up a storm. This part of my day did not suck. Of course with my mood falling to the floor every few moments I cannot guarantee I was very good company. I did get all the food cooked I was planning on so that was a win. I also managed to cover myself with floor and sugar and god only knows what else. Oh and beer later on when I was gargling the theme to the Love Boat. What can I say I get strange at times. The cake got compliments from everyone who saw it. Evidently I'm really good with an airbrush and shading. It tastes pretty good though I HATE the oven in the dorm. It turns off all the time. I kept wondering why the cake was taking so long to cook and then part of it fell in. *sigh* It seems the oven was off during the later part of the cooking. GRRRR! Anyhow it still looks and tastes spectacular and I can't wait for people to try it tomorrow. Hehehe it looks scary real even on the inside. Hehehe I am evil
My boobs hurt again. They are officially bigger as well. I'm not sure what to do about them. Even my loosest bras don't fit and they ache all day. Then I take the sucker off and it is like Christmas has come early it feels so good. Evidently it is cause my hormones are all screwy (which could account for my moods swings being worse then a pregnant woman's). So do I buy new clothing or just wait it out. *hangs head* You are evil boobies. You get no biscuit. Just the powdered sugar I poured all over you earlier in the kitchen. Damned powdered sugared boobies.
The hormone driven mood swings also explain why I can't stop crying about things I should have gotten over by now. Of course I will never admit out loud that maybe I'm pushing myself too hard. That would be admitting I'm not entirely god-like and we can't have that. Seriously though if I could just get over things and move on like I planned then well I would figure things would be better. Because this limping along being upset and crying all the time like a little bitch is just unacceptable. And besides tears never change anything. If there is one thing I've learned over the years that crying when you lose people doesn't fucking do anything so what's the point? Tears don't mean anything other then you are weak. Accept your loss and move the fuck on. You fucked up or they fucked up or something fucked up and now you deal with the pain. You burn that shit out of your head and you rip out your guts and leave it on the floor behind you. Move the fuck on, crying doesn't change things. Living is painful, so what else is fucking new?
Oh and Kibble you are a bastard! Come online and talk with me you little shit. We keep missing each other and I blame you because I am the girl and therefore it is not my fault. :P
Okay maybe I'll go stare at my ceiling for a while until I feel like posting again. I have two tests tomorrow in school. Yay!
I spent the latter part of today with Jesse cooking and baking up a storm. This part of my day did not suck. Of course with my mood falling to the floor every few moments I cannot guarantee I was very good company. I did get all the food cooked I was planning on so that was a win. I also managed to cover myself with floor and sugar and god only knows what else. Oh and beer later on when I was gargling the theme to the Love Boat. What can I say I get strange at times. The cake got compliments from everyone who saw it. Evidently I'm really good with an airbrush and shading. It tastes pretty good though I HATE the oven in the dorm. It turns off all the time. I kept wondering why the cake was taking so long to cook and then part of it fell in. *sigh* It seems the oven was off during the later part of the cooking. GRRRR! Anyhow it still looks and tastes spectacular and I can't wait for people to try it tomorrow. Hehehe it looks scary real even on the inside. Hehehe I am evil
My boobs hurt again. They are officially bigger as well. I'm not sure what to do about them. Even my loosest bras don't fit and they ache all day. Then I take the sucker off and it is like Christmas has come early it feels so good. Evidently it is cause my hormones are all screwy (which could account for my moods swings being worse then a pregnant woman's). So do I buy new clothing or just wait it out. *hangs head* You are evil boobies. You get no biscuit. Just the powdered sugar I poured all over you earlier in the kitchen. Damned powdered sugared boobies.
The hormone driven mood swings also explain why I can't stop crying about things I should have gotten over by now. Of course I will never admit out loud that maybe I'm pushing myself too hard. That would be admitting I'm not entirely god-like and we can't have that. Seriously though if I could just get over things and move on like I planned then well I would figure things would be better. Because this limping along being upset and crying all the time like a little bitch is just unacceptable. And besides tears never change anything. If there is one thing I've learned over the years that crying when you lose people doesn't fucking do anything so what's the point? Tears don't mean anything other then you are weak. Accept your loss and move the fuck on. You fucked up or they fucked up or something fucked up and now you deal with the pain. You burn that shit out of your head and you rip out your guts and leave it on the floor behind you. Move the fuck on, crying doesn't change things. Living is painful, so what else is fucking new?
Oh and Kibble you are a bastard! Come online and talk with me you little shit. We keep missing each other and I blame you because I am the girl and therefore it is not my fault. :P
Okay maybe I'll go stare at my ceiling for a while until I feel like posting again. I have two tests tomorrow in school. Yay!
