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Today was an enjoyable day. I overslept a bit but woke up at a semi-reasonable time for me. Upon waking I chatted with Kt and the kids and found out a book I had been waiting for was out. After procuring the book I read it straight through and was so super happy with it. Than I spent the evening with the Morton's because everyone else disappeared and we watched TV and chatted. Jeff was last to bed and we had a really nice conversation before he went to bed. It is a sort of habit at this point as he often goes to bed last and we often chat a bit before he crashes. I enjoy those conversations muchly.
I suppose that's why I'm posting this at least tangentially. It is funny when someone says something very small to you and it because one of those true Ah Ha moments that redefines things you hold dear. You had been searching for a reason for something and you just couldn't find one good enough anymore but than they say X and it is good enough. The people you love the most are enough of a reason to put up with a situation you would never put up with. They make it worth it to not get everything you ever wanted handed to you on a silver platter. They are worth the sometimes jarring discomforts of fitting your life with theirs.
There are times when you wish things were different. You wish X had happened or that Y had not been a fucktard and left your life only to pop back up and be a pain again. You want just a little more money because it would make everything just that much smoother. You wish there was just a little more room because someone is too loud or too chipper or too damned annoying. People chew too loudly, have too many pets (raises hand), are too lazy or too busy but you love them anyway. You put up with much because you think they are worth that extra comment held back, that scream of "Oh god could you please just for the love of Christ not do that thing you do or don't do ever again or I will kill you" which never passes your lips.
I'm often on here talking about my family and how much I love them and the home we have built. I try to stay away from too much personal stuff online because it is personal. Maybe people think at times that we are magical in our beautiful polymush family with so few problems but we aren't. Things are messy and full of pain. People stay up at night crying or upset. There isn't enough room and things which one day didn't bother you the very next day make up want to skin someone alive. But I say again these things are normal and these things are what living with others is about. I may sit on the front porch and wax poetical about my family being wonderful and perfect (and I believe they are) but even in perfection there is pain, in beauty lies horror.
My point is, I suppose, that perfection is never what you thought it would be. Perfection is imperfect and it hurts sometimes. There are days when crawling out of bed is the hardest thing you have to do and others when it takes everything you have not to crawl right back in again. The people around you make it worth the pain. They make the sacrifices, the noise, the smells, and even the loneliness worth it all.
Funny thing is I didn't intend to write such a long winded post tonight. I came up to drop a quick note about the Lavender Cookies I just baked. I guess it wasn't the cookies I really had on my mind.
To whom ever reads this, good night and be well. I hope at least part of it gave you that little extra reason to have an Ah Ha moment of your own.
I suppose that's why I'm posting this at least tangentially. It is funny when someone says something very small to you and it because one of those true Ah Ha moments that redefines things you hold dear. You had been searching for a reason for something and you just couldn't find one good enough anymore but than they say X and it is good enough. The people you love the most are enough of a reason to put up with a situation you would never put up with. They make it worth it to not get everything you ever wanted handed to you on a silver platter. They are worth the sometimes jarring discomforts of fitting your life with theirs.
There are times when you wish things were different. You wish X had happened or that Y had not been a fucktard and left your life only to pop back up and be a pain again. You want just a little more money because it would make everything just that much smoother. You wish there was just a little more room because someone is too loud or too chipper or too damned annoying. People chew too loudly, have too many pets (raises hand), are too lazy or too busy but you love them anyway. You put up with much because you think they are worth that extra comment held back, that scream of "Oh god could you please just for the love of Christ not do that thing you do or don't do ever again or I will kill you" which never passes your lips.
I'm often on here talking about my family and how much I love them and the home we have built. I try to stay away from too much personal stuff online because it is personal. Maybe people think at times that we are magical in our beautiful polymush family with so few problems but we aren't. Things are messy and full of pain. People stay up at night crying or upset. There isn't enough room and things which one day didn't bother you the very next day make up want to skin someone alive. But I say again these things are normal and these things are what living with others is about. I may sit on the front porch and wax poetical about my family being wonderful and perfect (and I believe they are) but even in perfection there is pain, in beauty lies horror.
My point is, I suppose, that perfection is never what you thought it would be. Perfection is imperfect and it hurts sometimes. There are days when crawling out of bed is the hardest thing you have to do and others when it takes everything you have not to crawl right back in again. The people around you make it worth the pain. They make the sacrifices, the noise, the smells, and even the loneliness worth it all.
Funny thing is I didn't intend to write such a long winded post tonight. I came up to drop a quick note about the Lavender Cookies I just baked. I guess it wasn't the cookies I really had on my mind.
To whom ever reads this, good night and be well. I hope at least part of it gave you that little extra reason to have an Ah Ha moment of your own.
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