seorgia: (PurpleKitten)
( May. 27th, 2006 11:10 pm)
The closer the move gets the twitchier I become. We are at about the 3 month mark and I find I have become itchy with the taste of what's to come. I've moved tons of times before. I'm not worried about the mechanics of the move. Honestly that's really the least of it all, but the leaving of people behind, that has started to get to me.

Sometimes it seems like I'm always leaving the people I care about behind. Sometimes, like with my father, it isn't my choice and there wasn't anything I could do about it. Some people, like Hare and others like him, I had to leave to save myself and my sanity and those were always close calls. But mostly it is just me moving around alot. It just seems to be something I do. I get restless in one spot, or I haven't found a spot yet that I'm happy with. Sometimes, like Albany, I moved here for a particular reason or because of certain people and once those reasons no longer apply I want to leave. But that was before. Over this last year, while my feelings on Albany haven't changed, I have found a fairly happy exsitance hanging out with new friends. What am I going to do when they are far away and I don't get to see them almost everyday like now?

On the bright side I'm not moving somewhere unknown this time. I'm staying in the same state and I do have a big bunch of wonderful friends down where I am moving. That is a happy thought. I love the fact that I get to move down and see the Warwick folks (because I can't remember that big long name you've made for yourselves) on a more regular basis. I love the fact that I can see the kids now more then once a month or so. I love the fact that I'm going back to school and I think I'm healthy enough mentally now to finish it. These are all goods things. I'm in such a good place right now in my life and yet I feel weird about the move.

I know it all makes sense and all and this is yet another big change and not even the last one but well yeah I'm getting weirder the closer it gets. So torn. I love going new places and meeting new and interesting people. I've become quite the gregarious Seo in my old age. I can't wait to start learning again because I want to and not because I'm forced to. I look forward to finding new places and being close to NYC. But I still hate leaving people behind. I hate it. I hated leaving my friends on Cape behind. I hate that I don't get to see the OH folks often or the Baltimore Boys. I hate seeing my Mom only once or twice a year. I hate that I don't have the money to see them all the time. *sighs*

So anyhow be warned, I will get probably a little weirder as the date draws close. I'll be fine. If I suddenly bust out with "I'm gonna miss you so much" randomly don't worry and I shall endeavor not to start bawling on anyone. Oh gods that would just be embarrassing LOL


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